21 May 2009

Who Knew?

I didn't realize it, but apparently I'm fluent in Korean. The evidence? I've just published a book in that language.

At least I think it's my book. It's got pictures of Shakespeare on the front and includes all the illustrations from my Becoming Shakespeare. I just got a box of them. Mind you, if it weren't for the pictures, I wouldn't be sure I'm holding them right-way up.

I wonder if it's any good. I'll have to get someone to read it to me one of these days.

18 May 2009

What to Buy Me

I'm sure the question that's been keeping you awake at night is this: "What am I going to buy Jack Lynch for his birthday? After all, I've got only a few months to think this through."

Well, now you can put your mind at ease. You'll find a comprehensive list of possible gifts at


Perhaps I should register; it would be embarrassing if two of you bought me the $2.4-million gold-cased, diamon-crusted iPhone with the 6.6-carat diamond on the center button.

If you're on a budget, the $2,800 pizza – topped with sunblush tomato pizza sauce, smoked salmon, venison medallions, cognac-marinated lobster, and champagne-soaked caviar – may be the best choice. Of course there's no better way to follow up a $2,800 pizza than with a $1.65-million fruitcake for dessert. And when the lost has made its way through me, off I'll go to the $32-million bathroom.